Theraputic Poetry; "Meeting"

Hey Friends, this poem was written on May 11th, 2008. A year and a half after I lost my mother, I started attending a meeting called "Survivors of Suicide." I go to this meeting once a month, and it is my family. People go to this meeting because they have lost a loved one to suicide. I wanted to express my appreciation for this meeting, so what better way then writting a poem.

Meeting

I went to my Survivors
meeting.
My family,
my friends,
my hope.
I cried because of my hatred
for you.
I cried because of my love
for you.
I felt as a little kid at this
meeting, as though
my questions of why
could never be
answered.
“Why wasn’t I enough?”
All eyes looked down
showing me
the answer.
That they have felt
this way too.
A quick sigh, but my heart
was beating for an
answer.
But the question
was not that I was enough,
it was why couldn’t she fell
my love.
Depression.
I cried even more, because
I hated her, but loved her.
I was a child facing a problem
even God would question.
There are so many questions,
but when the realization
comes that there are
no answers, it feels
as though breath is taken
from your body.
But when others look at you
with the same pain
in their eyes and
still construct a
genuine smile,
your breath returns.