New York Trip-Photos

Some of the amazing people at the New York conference, thank-you all sooo much!

I took this at the top of the NBC building. The view was amazing!

St. Patrick's Cathedral, it was very beautiful.

I had to bend back to take this picture! And I went to the top of this building!

It was such a great day there!

New York Trip

Hey Everyone!,

I hope everyone is doing well! This past Friday and Saturday I traveled to New York City. It was amazing! The reason why I went there was for a conference held there for the National Survivors of Suicide Day. Another reason I went was to visit my GREAT friend Gayle who I met from the walk in Chicago, we were on the same team, "Andrew's Angels."
I went to an amazing restaurant, and got a great chance to go to 'The Rock", which is the top of the NBC building in Rockefeller center. I took some pictures, and I will post them. The conference was terrific, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention did a really great job at putting it all together. I met amazing people, who are fellow survivors.
First, we all sat down to hear a discussion from Dana Perry, who made the movie "Boy Interrupted", a documentary of her son's suicide. Later we watched a video that premiered world wide about different ways people are coping with the loss of their loved one to suicide. It was a great video and very informational. Then we were divided into groups depending on who we lost to have a peer to peer therapy group. I cried sooo much, but it was amazing.
The conference was just amazing. Thank-you all who made that conference possible. It was so helpful. I met some great people, and just helped to validate that I'm not alone. Again I want to thank all of you guys and gals out there. With your support you are helping to save lives. Thank-you, thank-you.

Therapeutic Poetry; True

Hey Friends, it's been a while since I've posted some poetry. I wrote this poem today. I was inspired to write this poem because of the 4 year marking of losing my mom last Tuesday. This poem is very personal, but shows the step of my grief process.

It was believed

that this thought,

this feeling

was gone.

Just as the sea washes away

the sand,

I thought the guilt would

be washed away,

far,far away.

My guilt lies in that phone call.

The last night of your

life, you waited for my call.

I was too caught up in my

youth to remember the world.

As I awoke the next morning

and heard of your

breathless body,

I shattered.

Pieces of me still remain on that floor.

I heard that before you chose to leave me here,

you were upset waiting

for a phone call

from your blue eyes daughter.

At this moment I lost

all that I use to be.

As I reached out to others,

all that was heard was

that it was not my fault.

My soul stated this everyday, and achieved pushing the guilt

below the surface.

It has been four years.

And I state it now un-spokenly

that it's my belief it was my fault.

I do not say this for any reason

but that it is simply my belief.

One that I welcome awkwardly.

Because it is grief that is no longer

shamefully locked away.

But one that is let out, and

makes my soul breathe lighter.