Therapeutic Poetry; True

Hey Friends, it's been a while since I've posted some poetry. I wrote this poem today. I was inspired to write this poem because of the 4 year marking of losing my mom last Tuesday. This poem is very personal, but shows the step of my grief process.

It was believed

that this thought,

this feeling

was gone.

Just as the sea washes away

the sand,

I thought the guilt would

be washed away,

far,far away.

My guilt lies in that phone call.

The last night of your

life, you waited for my call.

I was too caught up in my

youth to remember the world.

As I awoke the next morning

and heard of your

breathless body,

I shattered.

Pieces of me still remain on that floor.

I heard that before you chose to leave me here,

you were upset waiting

for a phone call

from your blue eyes daughter.

At this moment I lost

all that I use to be.

As I reached out to others,

all that was heard was

that it was not my fault.

My soul stated this everyday, and achieved pushing the guilt

below the surface.

It has been four years.

And I state it now un-spokenly

that it's my belief it was my fault.

I do not say this for any reason

but that it is simply my belief.

One that I welcome awkwardly.

Because it is grief that is no longer

shamefully locked away.

But one that is let out, and

makes my soul breathe lighter.