Poem Shared At Awareness Event

Hey Everyone,

This is the poem that I read as I ended my speech at the coffee house. Statistically on average every person that commits suicide affects at least six people. After hearing that statistic I wrote this poem. Hope you all like it!

Placed a Rose

Look up, the sky
full of dark clouds.
Now the clouds cry
dark tears.
Steps are taken towards
the casket.
Her love and father of
her children places a
bright rose on her casket, the
rose leaves his fingers
just as she left his.
Her father and mother walk
brokenly gripping each
other,
her mother looks away
not wanting to see
that she could no
longer help
her.
Her father places a rose,
fully bloomed, looks
at her face and
wishes for a
smile.
Her sister walks up to her looking
back.
A rose is placed, and she
walks forward.
Her eldest daughter walks up,
then back then
up again.
Tears roll from her face
to her mothers'. She looks
up then down, slowly
the rose is placed on her
casket.
Her son looks down,only to look
up to know he is
there.
He looks at her yearningly.
Very slowly he places the
rose on her casket, and
looks up.
Her youngest daughter takes baby
steps towards her,
closes her eyes and takes
a deep breath.
She looks away and bites her lip.
She grabs her hand, cold and hard.
She looks at the rose than at her.
Placing the rose on the casket she
places her love.
One person, six roses.

Big Day!-Community Walk/Awareness Event

On September 26th, 2010, in Harrisburg Pennsylvania a walk was held for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Many gathered to remember their loved ones lost to suicide. It was a day of remembrance as well as a day to gain courage and sanity. Courage to tell our story and sanity to learn that we are not alone in this crazy journey of grief.
This walked mirrored the same physically exhausting 18 walk that took place in Boston this past June. In both walks I spoke with genuine people sharing the same tragic story. Though we hurt our stories were shared. As each delicate detail came out we were able to breathe a little lighter. This is because we all knew the person's ear that was listening genuinely cared and could relate in one way or the other.

As I walked with my family I was quickly reminded of the importance of their presence. I'm thankful for my amazing Aunt Deb and three terrific cousins; Brittany, Brian and David. Their support during the walk will forever be cherished.
As the walk ended I released a balloon with my mother's name on it, Laurie Ann Fieseler. That moment was very hard. I know I've come a long way in my grief, and this is something that I'm very proud of. However, the simple act of letting go of her is truly hard. Because like many I just don't want her to be forgotten. With my eyes squeezed tight and while taking a deep breath, I let the balloon go. Little steps....

After the walk I rushed to the Crimson Frog coffee house to share my story about my mother as well as share great information about suicide prevention. I have to confess the reason I rushed was because ditzy me had locked my keys in my car! Thanks Uncle Mark for getting my keys out!
Walking on that stage at the coffee house was both exciting and scary. There I was sharing great information about a cause I am so passionate about, as well as sharing such personal feelings about my mother. Though as I trembled my story was shared. I gave risk factors, warning signs and ways to help out to the audience. Than I ended the speech with a poem I had written.
It was a hard, yet very rewarding day. Though I was scared and weighed down emotionally, I still did it all. Thank-you all for your support, and remember, together we are saving lives!

Lobbying

Hey Everyone!


On Tuesday, September 21st I marched the many steps to the state capitol to lobby for suicide prevention. After the long march I met with my fellow survivor friends who were also there to lobby for suicide prevention. Many people were there from various organizations, though all of us were there for the same reason, suicide prevention. There were people there to support veterans, to support older adults, and one that really caught my eye; avedium- I've got your back.
Avedium started by a high school girl that sadly lost her father. She wrote a paper about this as well as the loss of a high school student in an English paper stating that something had to be done. Her message was heard loud and clear. Her English teacher and her collaborated and came up with the idea to speak openly about suicide prevention. She is now in college and has spread the word to many other high schools and colleges. What she is doing is truly remarkable and inspiring. I cherish her story and it inspires me to raise awareness.
Many people spoke very movingly about suicide prevention. I met many new people, and heard many great inspiring stories. That day I felt very political, though the day was not about whether you are a donkey, elephant, or liking the color green. The day was about an issue that has no political lines, it was about life.