On September 26th, 2010, in Harrisburg Pennsylvania a walk was held for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Many gathered to remember their loved ones lost to suicide. It was a day of remembrance as well as a day to gain courage and sanity. Courage to tell our story and sanity to learn that we are not alone in this crazy journey of grief.
This walked mirrored the same physically exhausting 18 walk that took place in Boston this past June. In both walks I spoke with genuine people sharing the same tragic story. Though we hurt our stories were shared. As each delicate detail came out we were able to breathe a little lighter. This is because we all knew the person's ear that was listening genuinely cared and could relate in one way or the other.
As I walked with my family I was quickly reminded of the importance of their presence. I'm thankful for my amazing Aunt Deb and three terrific cousins; Brittany, Brian and David. Their support during the walk will forever be cherished.
As the walk ended I released a balloon with my mother's name on it, Laurie Ann Fieseler. That moment was very hard. I know I've come a long way in my grief, and this is something that I'm very proud of. However, the simple act of letting go of her is truly hard. Because like many I just don't want her to be forgotten. With my eyes squeezed tight and while taking a deep breath, I let the balloon go. Little steps....
After the walk I rushed to the Crimson Frog coffee house to share my story about my mother as well as share great information about suicide prevention. I have to confess the reason I rushed was because ditzy me had locked my keys in my car! Thanks Uncle Mark for getting my keys out!
Walking on that stage at the coffee house was both exciting and scary. There I was sharing great information about a cause I am so passionate about, as well as sharing such personal feelings about my mother. Though as I trembled my story was shared. I gave risk factors, warning signs and ways to help out to the audience. Than I ended the speech with a poem I had written.
It was a hard, yet very rewarding day. Though I was scared and weighed down emotionally, I still did it all. Thank-you all for your support, and remember, together we are saving lives!
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